RAPE – Its a Girl Problem


photo credit – satish acharaya

Classical antiquity
Greek mythology(source Wikipedia)
The rape of women or youths is a common theme in Greek mythology. Among the rapes or abductions committed by Zeus, the supreme deity of the Greek pantheon, are Europa and Ganymede.

The rape of Chrysippus by Laius was known as “the crime of Laius”, a term which came to be applied to all male rape[citation needed]. It was seen as an example of hubris in the original sense of the word, i.e., violent outrage, and its punishment was so severe that it destroyed not only Laius himself, but also his son, Oedipus, his wife Jocasta, his grandchildren (including Antigone), and members of his extended family.

Ancient Rome

In Roman law, raptus (or raptio) meant primarily kidnapping or abduction; sexual violation was a secondary issue. The “abduction” of an unmarried girl from her father’s household in some circumstances was a matter of the couple eloping without her father’s permission to marry. Rape in the English sense of “forced sex” was more often expressed as stuprum, a sex crime committed through violence or coercion (cum vi or per vim). Raptus ad stuprum, “abduction for the purpose of committing a sex crime,” emerged as a legal distinction in the late Roman Republic.[2] The Lex Julia de vi publica, recorded in the early 3rd century AD but dating probably from the dictatorship of Julius Caesar, defined rape as forced sex against “boy, woman, or anyone”.

Although Roman law in the historical period recognized rape as a crime, the rape of women is a pervasive theme in the myths and legends of early Rome. The Augustan historian Livy seems “embarrassed” by the rape motif and emphasizes the redeeming political dimension of traditional stories. The “rape” of the Sabine women was interpreted as showing that Rome was constituted as a “blended” population in which people resolved violence and coexisted by consent and treaty. The rape of the exemplary woman Lucretia by the king’s son led to the overthrow of the monarchy and the establishment of the Republic.[5] In the 50s BC, the Epicurean poet Lucretius condemned rape as a primitive behavior outside the bounds of an advanced civilization, describing it as “a man’s use of violent force and imposition of sexual impulse.”

Intercourse by force or compulsion, even if it took place under circumstances that were otherwise unlawful or immoral, left the victim legally without blame. The official position under the emperor Diocletian (reigned 284–305 AD) held that:

The laws punish the foul wickedness of those who prostitute their modesty to the lusts of others, but they do not attach blame to those who are compelled to stuprum by force, since it has, moreover, been quite properly decided that their reputations are unharmed and that they are not prohibited from marriage to others.

Although the law recognized the victim’s innocence, rhetoric used by the defense indicates that jurors might harbor attitudes of blame.

As a matter of law, rape could be committed only against a citizen in good standing. The rape of a slave could be prosecuted only as damage to the owner’s property. People who worked as prostitutes or entertainers, even if they were technically free, suffered infamia, the loss of legal and social standing. A person who made his or her body available for public use or pleasure had in effect surrendered the right to be protected from sexual abuse or physical violence. Men who had been raped “by the force of robbers or the enemy in wartime (vi praedonum vel hostium)” were exempt by law from infamia.

There was no statute of limitations for rape; by contrast adultery, which was criminalized under Augustus, had to be prosecuted within five years.[16] The rape of a freeborn male (ingenuus) or a female virgin is among the worst crimes that could be committed in Rome, along with parricide and robbing a temple. Rape was a capital crime, and the rapist was subject to execution, a rare penalty in Roman law.

The victim’s consent was usually not a factor in Roman rape cases, since raptus could refer to a successful seduction as well as abduction or forced sex. What had been violated was primarily the right of the head of household (paterfamilias) to give or withhold his consent. The consequences of an abduction or an elopement were considered a private matter to be determined by the couple and their families, who might choose to recognize the marriage.
The first Christian emperor Constantine redefined rape as a public offense rather than as a private wrong.
Since under Roman law raptus could also mean cases of abduction or elopement without the head of household’s permission, Constantine ordered that if the female had consented, she should be punished along with the male “abductor” by being burnt alive. If she had not consented, she was still considered an accomplice, “on the grounds that she could have saved herself by screaming for help.”[24] As a participant to the rape, she was punished under law by being disinherited, regardless of the wishes of her family.[25] Even if she and her family consented to a marriage as the result of an elopement, the marriage was legally void.

According to a Sunni hadith, the punishment for committing rape is death, there is no sin on the victim, nor is there any worldly punishment ascribed to her.[31] Most scholars treat rape as hirabah (disorder in the land).

Rape is defined as ‘zina biljabr’ fornication/adultery with the use of coercion or compulsion. Note it has to be extra-marital i.e. fornication/adultery; the rape charge can not be brought against the husband by the wife, i.e. it can not be within marriage, as indeed was the case in English Law until 1991 when the House of Lords ruling in R v R stated it was anachronistic to maintain such position in modern western society. The Islamic law approach to rape provides a range of possible charges, and thus penalties, which the qadi may posit. Hirabah being but one, yet the most severe of them. Thus the charge of zina may bring about a penalty of 100 lashes upon the perpetrator and the element of the use of force and or compulsion may be quantified, and thus punished serially or consecutively. That is a year’s banishment, a prison sentence, a corporal sentence etc. It is to be noted that Hirabah is a Hadd penalty (i.e. one predicating a fixed choice, which in the case of Hirabah has three options at the discretion of the qadi). If the offence is deemed to not be a Hirabah offence then the penalties available to the qadi would be those of ta’zeer and will not be permitted to reach the level of either severe retributive physical harm (i.e. more than ten lashes of a whip) let alone execution. The interpretation and application of these laws is very controversial, not least due to modern ill-fated legislation,[according to whom?] such as Pakistan’s Hudood Ordinance, under General Zia ul-Haq, which arguably criminalise the victim who fails to produce four witnesses. Thus perverting the aim behind the law, to protect the victim of rape and grant her justice.

Rape, in the course of warfare, also dates back to antiquity, ancient enough to have been mentioned in the Bible. According to the Roman ius gentium (“law of nations” or international law), inhabitants of a conquered town were spared personal violence if the war or siege ended through diplomatic negotiations. But if the army victoriously entered the town by force, the conquering men would rape women and sometimes adolescent boys of the defeated peoples as one of the spoils of war. Some portion or all of the population of a town taken by force might also become slaves, who lacked legal protections against rape and who might be exploited as prostitutes or non-consensual sexual companions.

Rape, as an adjunct to warfare, was prohibited by the military codices of Richard II and Henry V (1385 and 1419 respectively). These laws formed the basis for convicting and executing rapists during the Hundred Years’ War (1337–1453).

Napoleon Bonaparte found rape committed by soldiers particularly distasteful. During his Egyptian Expedition, he declared that “everywhere, the rapist is a monster” and ordered that “anyone guilty of rape would be shot.”

Modern Times
Since the 1970s many changes have occurred in the perception of sexual assault due in large part to the feminist movement and its public characterization of rape as a crime of power and control rather than purely of sex. In some countries the women’s liberation movement of the 1970s created the first rape crisis centers. This movement was led by the National Organization for Women (NOW). One of the first two rape crisis centers, the D.C. Rape Crisis Center, opened in 1972. It was created to promote sensitivity and understanding of rape and its effects on the victim.

Marital rape first became a crime in the United States in the state of South Dakota in 1975. In 1993, North Carolina became the last state to outlaw marital rape.[38] The marital rape exemption was abolished in England and Wales in 1991 by the House of Lords, in its judicial capacity, in the case of R v R [1991] 1 AC 599 (more details).

In the 1980s, date or acquaintance rape first gained acknowledgment. Rape crisis centers were created to serve survivors of all forms of sexual violence during any phase of their healing process. Rape crisis centers and other community-based service providers continue to grow and serve their communities by providing direct services and prevention programming.

On September 2, 1998, the United Nations International Criminal Tribunal for Rwanda delivered a precedent-setting verdict that made sexual violence a war crime.[39] This was followed in November 1998 by the decision of the International Criminal Tribunal for the former Yugoslavia that acts of rape may constitute torture under international humanitarian law.[40]

Current topics being debated are the marginalized victims of rape — domestic violence and rape victims, marital rape victims, male rape victims of both male and female rapists, female-female rape victims, parental-rape incest victims, and child sexual abuse victims. Other emerging issues are the concept of victim blame and its causes, male rape survivors, male-male rape, female sexual aggression, new theories of rape and gender, date rape drugs and their effects as well as the psychological effects of rape trauma syndrome.


Rape is the fourth most common crime against women in India.[1][2] According to the National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB) 2013 annual report, 24,923 rape cases were reported across India in 2012.[3] Out of these, 24,470 were committed by someone known to the victim (98% of the cases).[4]

India has been characterised as one of the “countries with the lowest per capita rates of rape”.[5][6] A large number of rapes go unreported.[7] The willingness to report the rape has increased in recent years, after several incidents of rape received widespread media attention and triggered public protest.[8][9][10][11][12] This led the Government of India to reform its penal code for crimes of rape and sexual assault.[13]

According to NCRB 2015 statistics, Madhya Pradesh has the highest raw number of rape reports among Indian states,[14] while Jodhpur has the highest per capita rate of rape reports in cities.

Definition as per IPC

Before 3 February 2013, Section 375 of the Indian Penal Code defined rape as:

§375. Rape. A man is said to commit “rape” who, except case hereinafter excepted, has sexual intercourse with a woman in circumstances falling under any of the six following descriptions:-

Firstly. –– Against her will.

Secondly. –– Without her consent.

Thirdly. –– With her consent, when her consent has been obtained by putting her or any person in whom she is interested, in fear of death or of hurt.

Fourthly. –– With her consent, when the man knows that he is not her husband, and that her consent is given because she believes that he is another man to whom she is or believes herself to be lawfully married.

Fifthly. –– With her consent, when, at the time of giving such consent, by reason of unsoundness of mind or intoxication or the administration by him personally or through another of any stupefying or unwholesome substance, she is unable to understand the nature and consequences of that to which she gives consent.

Sixthly. –– With or without her consent, when she is under sixteen years of age.

Explanation. –– Penetration is sufficient to constitute the sexual intercourse necessary to the offence of rape.

Exception. –– Sexual intercourse by a man with his own wife, the wife not being under fifteen years of age, is not rape.
The above definition excluded marital rape, same sex crimes and considered all sex with a minor below the age of sixteen as rape.

After 3 February 2013, the definition was revised through the Criminal Law (Amendment) Act 2013, which also raised the legal age of minor to eighteen.

§375. A man is said to commit “rape” if he:–– (a) penetrates his penis, to any extent, into the vagina, mouth, urethra or anus of a woman or makes her to do so with him or any other person; or (b) inserts, to any extent, any object or a part of the body, not being the penis, into the vagina, the urethra or anus of a woman or makes her to do so with him or any other person; or (c) manipulates any part of the body of a woman so as to cause penetration into the vagina, urethra, anus or any part of body of such woman or makes her to do so with him or any other person; or (d) applies his mouth to the vagina, anus, urethra of a woman or makes her to do so with him or any other person, under the circumstances falling under any of the following seven descriptions:

Firstly.–– Against her will.

Secondly. –– Without her consent.

Thirdly. –– With her consent, when her consent has been obtained by putting her or any person in whom she is interested, in fear of death or of hurt.

Fourthly. –– With her consent, when the man knows that he is not her husband and that her consent is given because she believes that he is another man to whom she is or believes herself to be lawfully married.

Fifthly.–– With her consent when, at the time of giving such consent, by reason of unsoundness of mind or intoxication or the administration by him personally or through another of any stupefying or unwholesome Substance, she is unable to understand the nature and consequences of that to which she gives consent.

Sixthly. –– With or without her consent, when she is under eighteen years of age.

Seventhly. –– When she is unable to communicate consent.

Explanation 1.–– For the purposes of this section, “vagina” shall also include labia majora.

Explanation 2.–– Consent means an unequivocal voluntary agreement when the woman by words, gestures or any form of verbal or non-verbal communication, communicates willingness to participate in the specific sexual act;

Provided that a woman who does not physically resist to the act of penetration shall not by the reason only of that fact, be regarded as consenting to the sexual activity. Exceptions –– 1. A medical procedure or intervention shall not constitute rape; 2. Sexual intercourse or sexual acts by a man with his own wife, the wife not being under fifteen years of age, is not rape.
Even after the 2013 reform, marital rape when the wife and husband live together continued not to be a crime in India. Article 376B of the 2013 law made forced sexual intercourse by a man with his wife – if she is living separately – a crime, whether under a decree of separation or otherwise, punishable with at least a 2-year prison term.[13] Forced sex by a man on his wife may also be considered a prosecutable domestic violence under other sections of Indian Penal code, such as Section 498(A) as well as the Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act 2005. The crime of sexual assault on a child, that is anyone below the age of eighteen, is further outlined and mandatory punishments described in The Protection of Children from Sexual Offences Act 2012.

All sexual acts between the members of the same sex, consensual or forced, remains a crime under Section 377 of Indian penal code, after the 2013 Criminal Law reform, with punishment the same as that of rape.

Child Abuse in India
also see (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child_sexual_abuse_laws_in_India)
Using a small sample survey, Human Rights Watch projects more than 7,200 minors – 1.6 in 100,000 minors – are raped each year in India. Among these, victims who do report the assaults are alleged to suffer mistreatment and humiliation from the police. Minor girls are trafficked into prostitution in India, thus rape of minors conflates into a lifetime of suffering. Of the countries studied by Maplecroft on sex trafficking and crime against minors, India was ranked 7th worst.

Estimates of unreported rapes
Most rapes go unreported because the rape victims fear retaliation and humiliation, both in India and throughout the world.[27] Indian parliamentarians have stated that the rape problem in India is being underestimated because a large number of cases are not reported, even though more victims are increasingly coming out and reporting rape and sexual assaults.[28] According to an estimate from 2014, only 5-6% of rape cases in India are reported to the police.

Few states in India have tried to estimate or survey unreported cases sexual assault. The estimates for unreported rapes in India vary widely. A comparison between data from the National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB) and the National Family Health Survey (NFHS) in 2005 shows that 5.8% of rapes were reported. India don’t have marital rape law. so marital rapes don’t get reported at all, so it can’t be estimated[31]Madiha Kark estimates 54% of rape crimes are unreported. A UN study of 57 countries estimates just 11% of rape and sexual assault cases worldwide are ever reported.

My Take on Rapes

– The victim is a girl/women in most cases.
– The culprits are men.
– The law enforcement guy, the judge and the jailer are all men in most cases.
– This has been on for centuries.
– This MUST now be solved by women only. This can be done by a women rising across the world/India to demand establishment of women run/headed police STATIONS, judges, jails, rehab centers and ministries etc.
– The women folk has to snatch this issue from the unrelenting menfolk. They are, in most cases, to my mind not emotionally and psychologically configured to understand the sensitivity of the issue.



Outsmart The Smartphone

Be smart to outsmart a smartphone. Stay away from it to avoid brain drain. When sleeping or charging put it in another room. 24 into 7 is making our lives miserable.
Students mostly perform low due to their dependebility on the phones.
Modernity does not mean not using your brains. Each and every individual is going crazy in someway or the other.
Relationships are taking the maximum toll. If a parent buys a new one then the child also wants one. Sorry to say parents have earned it and the child still has to reach there.
Children hate their parents maximum and do not want to part with it when required. The devil arrived smartly and took over our lives mercilessly.
Very few understand it’s proper use. Time has come to understand the worth of books. Kindly start reading them in which ever field you feel like. Do not let the S phones ruin our present by finishing our future.
Remember the name Smartphone .
So be as smart as the phone in intelligence and relationships. It has already outsmarted us. Time we outsmart it too.
Never tooooo late !

Life Is a Start-up

Hon’ble Prime Minister has started this new scheme called start up India. It aims to boost the new and mid/low income entrepreneurs to take loan and just start up. It’s a just attempt to give confidence to the entrepreneurship which lies buried in the new generation.

Well, life too is so much similar. There is so much potential packed inside our children but is never realised. Our kids have huge potential but nobody checks it out. Here are a few things which kill our child’s potential.

1. Early intervention by parents and grandparents into everything a child does.

2. Too much expectations from the kids.

3. No expectations at all from the kids.

4. Social conditioning by peers and teachers.

5. Poor self esteem and poor coping potential specially in relationships.

6. Low tolerance and high sensitivity.

7. Absence of role models.

8. Lack of communication skills,  specially interpersonal social skills.

9. Inability to handle physical and psychological issues.

10. The curse of the Internet, drugs and alcohol addiction.

So who is to blame for this? Parents or grandparents or teachers or the society or friends and the government. You can blame anyone. But blaming doesn’t solve anything. In the recent case where  the Indian student Tushar killed his professor and his wife it is clear that being sharp and intelligent alone doesn’t solve life’s problems. Had that been so Tushar would never have failed. A topper in class but unfortunately a failure in Life.

When one analyses what happened then almost all the ten points mentioned above maybe true. While each case is unique and singular but there are similarities also. One is not aware of what Limiting Beliefs he faced or what stopped him from sharing it with his other professors, if at all there was a case of intellectual property rights. That he did not have many friends or did not share with his friends or parents is the moot point.

While no solution is perfect, here are a few things which need to be considered .

1. Continuous engagement of the child by both or either of the parent. This bond of sharing when developed early, prevents any possible catastrophic event to take place later. Parents need to engage with kids well after their marriages or new jobs or long drawn educational degrees or in early relationships.

2. Listening to the child from an early age enables correct and natural growth of the child.

3. Pointing rather than teaching. Parents and teachers often impart one way instructions common to all and think that the template would work. Sorry, it never works. As they say just tell a kid and wait for him to respond to do the thing. Check out his potential early in Life.

4. Never interfere but assure the child indirectly that you are around. Mother’s role here is important. The child must know for sure that the fall back option is Home.

5. Comparison kills the spirit. The next door child is always a Superman. Spare your child the comparison. Let him remain a Chota Bheem and live well in himself.

6. I learnt in Human Design that all of us are uniquely designed at birth. Each one of is different and unique. We must honour this differentiation. We must love what our framework and design is. Knowledge of Human Design helped me correctly assess the real hardware and software of my family. Each one behaves in his unique way. Once you know that you can learn to see the potential of your siblings. Life lived correctly in one’s own frame is better than lived in an anticipated frame of someone else.

7. While most parents and kids have a different view but I strongly believe that time spent in a temple is time well spent. Afterall, the child needs a parent. What if parents fail. Atleast God must be around to-do a little parenting.

8. Age old remedies of touch, kissing and hugging cannot be replaced by Chat, Skype or WhatsApp.

9. Stop blaming the children. He is only as good a child as you are a parent.

10. Go back to basics.

So, life itself is a platform where all parents and children play the start up game. If our fundamental principles are sound and we keep it simple then our children will be life’s best start up entrepreneurs.

Trust Life When All fail.

– Lifecoach Ashutosh


Social Service

It is very important to teach children social service by giving water to the driver, gardener & old people. This is the first step. Once in school , automatically the child starts being polite to the maid, peon & others & knows how to behave & talk to different people on the society. This, the valuable citizen in making! So easy to have a well mannered society. Why debate so much? Start from the roots & see the beautiful change!! All the best for a lovely & fresh start!

Former Harvard Sex Blogger: My Ex-Boyfriend Leaking Nude Pictures of Me Changed Who I Am—Forever


In 2008, there were no words for what happened to me. Today we call what happened to Jennifer Lawrence and other celebrities—the public nonconsensual distribution of sexually explicit photos—revenge porn or cyber bullying or online harassment. I wasn’t naive. I’d been slut-shamed before. But I never considered that people would think my willingness to talk about sexuality precluded me from the expectation of privacy.

I was in my third year at Harvard, when an ex-boyfriend posted a gallery of nude photos he had taken of me eight months earlier. IvyGate, “an Ivy League blog covering news, gossip, sex, and sports,” picked up the story first, which would later become one of the site’s most popular posts. At the time, I was already in the press for writing what some described as a “sex blog” and it made me well known enough within a certain community—overachieving teenage girls, other Ivy…

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Quiz: Is Your Kid Being Bullied? By Megan Finnegan

1. Your son just logged off Facebook or another social networking site. He seems:

a) Despondent and distant.
b) A little hyperactive.
c) Like his usual self.

2. On Thursday night your daughter spent hours making T-shirts for the next day’s pep rally and was talking about it nonstop. When you pick her up on Friday afternoon, she:

a) Isn’t wearing her T-shirt and looks upset.
b) Says it was just okay.
c) Can’t wait to recount every detail of the event.

3. You break down and buy your kid the latest tech gadget he’s been begging for. After a week:

a) He sometimes forgets it in his locker at school.
b) It has mysteriously disappeared (just like his last MP3 player and the hockey jersey you bought him for his birthday).
c) It’s essentially glued to his hand.

4. In the past few months, your generally healthy kid:

a) Missed a day or two of school due to the flu or a bad cold.
b) Complained of the occasional headache or stomachache.
c) Came home from school with bruises or cuts he says he doesn’t remember getting.

5. On a typical Sunday night, your kid prepares for the week of school ahead by:

a) Obsessively planning his walking routes between classes.
b) Worrying about an upcoming test.
c) Picking out an outfit for Monday morning.

6. One of your tween’s classmates is having his birthday party at a local park. When you ask if he’s excited about it, he:

a) Tells you he’s a little nervous about having to play softball because he’s not very good at it.
b) Gives an enthusiastic “yes” and then gets back to texting his friends about it.
c) Says he’d rather hang out with his parents and doesn’t want to go to a “stupid party” anyway.

7. Your kid has been on her cell phone for the past hour, texting back and forth with friends. Afterward, she:

a) Stuffs her phone in her pocket, slouches in her seat, and snaps at anyone who tries to talk to her.
b) Sighs and complains about how one friend is being obnoxious lately.
c) Says the girls are planning to go to the mall and asks if she can meet them.

8. When you tried to talk to your kid about bullying, she:

a) Brushed you off.
b) Broke down in tears and said she feels picked on in school.
c) Recounted the time she saw someone being bullied and how it bothered her enough to tell her guidance counselor.

9. At a parent-teacher conference, your son’s algebra teacher says:

a) He’s doing well in the class and should be fine in pre-calculus next year.
b) He’s struggled recently with a few quizzes and might need a tutor.
c) Your son repeatedly misses the class, and when he’s there, he seems distracted and nervous.